This past  weekend, I was in lovely New Orleans, LA for a wedding. During the many  hurricanes, mint juleps, and "3 for 1" beverages, the topic of tattoos  came up, with two of my sister-in-laws considering getting one while  they were there. I have nothing against tattoos--the right hidden pic or  meaningful phrase can be a source of pride and add character. There's  just nothing I can think of that I would want to have permanently inked  onto my body (other than, of course, John Stamos clinging to the back of  a giant panda, or Reginald Vel Johnson flipping off the Statue of  Liberty). I've heard many horror stories of some tattoo mistakes friends  have made, but none can be as bad as the tattoos I've collected and  commented on below. Take a look, but be forewarned: SOME ARE ADULT IN  NATURE!

So...their  offspring would be purple right? Purple, mythical, and horny.

Well, they  got the comedy right...but the rest is a real "tradgey."

"No no no! I said I  fucking love vegetables, not vegetables fu--nevermind. *sigh*"

"What do you mean  Tower Records doesn't exist anymore? Where am I going to work?"

Hi ho, hi ho,  don't wanna see this no mo'...


Hey baby, I hear  tattoos a'callin.' Tossed salad and scrambled eggs!

"Get these mutha'  fuckin' snakes off my mutha' fuckin' plain...ol' arm!"

I support the  format, too, but...I guess it's not as mortifying as the BetaMax tat on  his forehead.


"I mean, I really,  really love Dolphins. And marijuana. Those are, like, my two passions  in life. Porpoises and Pot. Do you have anything in your book that  encompasses both of--oh shit, you do!"

Eww...just...eww.

Worst  tattoo ever, or BEST TATTOO IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD? I'll let you  be the judge. (I hope this isn't how I now remember Patrick Swayze...I  love the guy!)

Not cool be  confused with Vanilla Ice, who is cool AS ice, not Mr. Cool Ice. I like  the "aww shucks" expression of the skeleton.


This one is pretty  famous...an epic, epic tattoo art failure. When beauty becomes beast...

Upside: For your  armpit, EVERY week is Shark Week!

I'm shakin' for a little Cl'aiken! If I were invisible...I'd be a much better tattoo!
 
